The Hottest Guys Competing in the Eurovision Song Contest (Part 1)

The Eurovision Song Contest 2022 has been going on all week, building to what promises to be an explosive Grand Final on Saturday, May 14. For the uninitiated, Eurovision is sort of the original American Idol, but so much more. It is an international songwriting competition put on annually by the European Broadcasting Union and features contestants who represent their home country. Each participating country designates an artist or group to perform an original song live on television and radio, and the competing countries cast votes for the other countries' songs to determine a winner. We can thank Eurovision for stars like ABBA (and their winning song ‘Waterloo’ from the 1974 contest), Celine Dion, and Olivia Newton-John, just to name a few.

This year, the contest is taking place in Italy (the country that wins hosts the contest the next year), and there are some hot, European studs on that stage. Check out some of their sexy performances below:

Kalush Orchestra - Stefania – Ukraine

The boys representing Ukraine have quite the fun group vibe going if you know what I mean. The sound is very avante-garde and the onstage behavior is equally as entrancing. My favorite part is when the lead singer whips out his big flute and shows us what he can do with his mouth (jump to about halfway if you don’t believe me).

Nadir Rustamli - Fade To Black – Azerbaijan

Yes, I had to google where Azerbaijan is (next to Georgia and Armenia and along the Caspian Sea, duh), and I know you did too, so no judging. For this one, I’m going to ask you to put your dicks away for just a minute. The artistry coming from Rustamli is sensational and his vocal power is unmatched in the competition. Yes, he is totally boy-band sexy and could probably walk right onto the cover of a magazine or the set of Grey’s Anatomy, but his talent is what is getting me most excited. For the goosebump moment, jump to 2:33! If you need me, I’ll be researching flights to Azerbaijan.

Sam Ryder - SPACE MAN - United Kingdom

The UK is putting all their eggs in this viral TikToker’s basket, and for good reason. Whether or not he wins, Ryder’s song is destined to be a hit. His voice is big and smooth and has a raspy rocker edge that will make your panties drop. Did I mention he is very easy on the eyes with long Fabio locks, bright blue eyes, and perfectly groomed facial hair? Here’s hoping he wins and gets famous enough that a jilted ex leaks his nudes, 'cause this singer oozes BDE.

WRS - Llámame – Romania

When you think hot European you think British, German, French, or maybe even Czech (come on we’ve all jerked it to the Czech Hunter videos), but Romania is an untapped resource of hotties. WRS brings spicy Latin sound to the stage and they are not short on bringing the heat either. The lead singer gyrates his hips in a hypnotic motion as if he is commanding you to dance until he stops. Yes sir.

Jérémie Makiese - Miss You – Belgium

Belgium is known for chocolate, waffles, beer, French fries, and now the hunky Jérémie Makiese. The song will certainly be played this summer on Saturday nights at West Hollywood’s infamous gay dance spot, The Abbey (or whatever your local gay discotheque is), and I’m ready to do a little dance floor fun to it. When Makiese dances, it is pretty clear that this dude can fuck.

Mahmood & BLANCO - Brividi – Italy

As the host country and reigning champion, Italy has a lot to prove this year. The plan? Get two delicious Italian hunks to sing together. And the plan is working. The sex factor is dialed up to eleven here, including a remarkable nod Michelle Pfeiffer in The Fabulous Baker Boys, in which the lead singer climbs on top of the piano and makes sweet, sweet music, upside down.

There is so much hot, Euro cock on stage in Italy right now, and they may be opening their mouths to sing, but we are over here opening up for a hole different reason. Make sure to check back tomorrow for part 2!

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