Five Great Gay Clothing-Optional Resorts (Reading This Article Is Not Optional)

March 14, 2022
TOMMY

Pineapple Point

The Wilton Manors neighborhood of Ft. Lauderdale, FL has become the go-to gay destination for Southern Florida. Though it doesn’t eclipse Key West yet, it does give it a run for its money! Which is why finding clothing-optional resorts nearby isn’t too tall of an order. Located a quick 10-minute drive outside Wilton Manor, Pineapple Point is one of the best gay resorts in the country. Rife with the expected aesthetics of palm trees, coconuts, hammocks, and yes, pineapples, Pineapple Point starts at around $200/night, but non-guest day trippers can get a day pass for just $25! They also have one of the best daily happy hours imaginable since it starts with a complimentary cocktail. With enough of those HH drinks, you’ll also probably want to take advantage of the free breakfast to soak up some of the booze. And don’t forget to bring your bathing suit! Wait… actually… do forget to bring your bathing suit. Because this clothing-optional resort has a gorgeous pool, and since it is designed with a dense amount of trees, you’ll feel like you’re naked in a jungle! Cumming this fall: Naked & Unafraid.

Island House

But, if you grew up loving The Birdcage as much as I did, then you know that South Florida’s true Gay Mecca is, in fact, Key West. And Key West’s most iconic gay, clothing-optional resort is Island House. Like many of the other premier gay resorts, Island House has an incredible happy hour that includes free, top-shelf drinks. Looking at Island House almost gives one the impression that they’re looking at a movie set, or like you’re on the set of a scripted Bravo TV show about a gay resort. And let me just say…they appear to have built the perfect set! When you first see it, it just exudes fun and partying. And it’s decidedly one of the more lively clothing-optional gay resorts I’ve come across. The pool parties here are the thing of legend, and the night can run late as they have a 24-hour café on site. And if you feel like stretching your legs and hitting some gay bars one night (or morning… no judgement), Island House is a quick 15 minute walk to all the gay bars.

CCBC

If you’ve ever been to Palm Springs, you know one thing: it’s profoundly relaxing....and g-a-y. Nestled between the desert mountains of California, is CCBC (technically in Cathedral City next door to Palm Springs but let's not quibble here). You might recognize CCBC from porn because many scenes and movies are shot there–in the open. While relaxing as it may be, CCBC is a place to get off. It's the largest nude resort for men in America, so they have a restaurant, mazes, four play rooms, a military compound, a waterfall, steam room, pool, hot tub, and horny men everywhere. They also do day passes. Whatever you’re looking for, CCBC seems to have it.

The Woods Campground

Finally, maybe you want to relax, but don’t necessarily jive with the tropical aesthetic. Maybe you’re an East Coast homo and you’ve always had a hankering for the mountains of Pennsylvania. And maybe the Poconos has been your happy place ever since you were a little kid. And maybe I’m pretending I’m not actually referring to myself right now. If you love what I’m describing, then you’ll absolutely adore The Woods Campground. Located in the Pocono Mountains of South Eastern Pennsylvania about an hour and a half from both Philadelphia and New York City, The Woods is one of the best clothing-optional resorts you could imagine. Nestled on a massive 161 acre private property, The Woods has been running since 2004, and is a membership-only, clothing-optional camping resort. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that with that much real estate, there’s bound to be a lot of water, too. The Woods has a four-acre lake, multiple streams, and a massive pool/hot tub where everyone congregates in the day. And not for nothing, because it's a campground many people choose to actually do some camping. Don't get me wrong, they have proper lodging and private rooms, but if you want to really feel like you're in the mountains, plenty of guys decide to pitch a tent or park an RV. If you find yourself headed to The Woods this Spring/Summer, there’s a good chance you’ll run into this South Eastern PA, mountain-loving homo there.

Honorable Mention - The Dunes

I know not everyone has quick access to the East and West Coasts, though. Maybe you live in Iowa, or New Mexico, or Montana! Maybe you live in Michigan somewhere between Saugatuck and Detroit. Boy, if that’s the case then you’re in luck! Because Michigan is home to The Dunes. While The Dunes is not a fully clothing-optional resort, The Dunes IS situated in the middle of the rust belt. And don’t ever let someone tell you that Midwest gays are boring, because The Dunes has some pretty damn outstanding parties including Porn At the Pool, Drag Bingo, Christmas in July, and one hell of a Fourth of July Tea Party, just to name a few. Originally “The Douglas Dunes” (it’s in Douglas, MI), three friends and long-time visitors of the place bought it in 1999, where they shortened the name to just “The Dunes” and brought it into a new millennium. The Dunes also has both individual hotel rooms, or dorm-style rooms if you’re looking to get to know some bunkmates a bit better. I used to prefer the bottom bunk, but now I prefer the top bunk. Ultimately, I love both bunks, and if I ever find myself in Michigan, I think I may just have to try both bunks! Oh, who am I kidding? After I’m done dancing my face off I just want my own goddamn bed. I’m getting a solo room. Now that's an honorable mention if I've gotten one.

Wherever you live, and wherever you’re traveling, this country has some of the most incredible clothing-optional gay resorts you can hope for. Where are some of your favorites? Have any great recs? I’d love to hear about them! Nominate your favorite before March 15 for the 2022 Cybersocket Award for Gay Resort of the Year.