All Male the Chief! A Brief History of Gay US Presidents and Why I’m a Hoe-tus for POTUS

February 21, 2022
TOMMY

Today is President’s Day in the U.S., where we acknowledge the 46 men who have lead the United (though all too often divided) States of America! What’s often lost in American history is just how Queer a number of our presidents were in reality. It should be noted that modern applications of “Gay™” don’t necessarily apply to all of these cases. But that’s just another reason why I love the umbrella of Queer so much. I digress. This straight-washing of some Queer legends shall not stand! Here is a reminder of the fact that some of the greatest men to lead this country were also Fam™.

Starting off from the great state of Pennsylvania (we’ll ignore 2016 for a minute), we have our 15^th HomOTUS (Let’s get #HomOTUS trending, shall we?), James Buchanan. A life-long bachelor (though notably ineffective president), Buchanan lived with William Rufus King for over a decade, with friends and colleagues noting that they were practically joined at the hip. This is also notable because King was the Vice President of the previous administration under Franklin Pierce. King even described their relationship as a “communion.” It also shouldn’t be a shock that the genocidal piece of shit that is Andrew Jackson used to refer to them as “Miss Nancy” and “Aunt Fancy.” Well, fuck you, Jackson; Miss Nancy and Aunt Fancy are two amazing drag names imo.

The next HomOTUS on this list also happens to be the presidential successor to the confirmed bachelor above, and is considered by many to be our nation’s greatest president. He is FOREVER the moment…he IS the drama… he is Abraham Lincoln. Any discussion of Queer presidents usually starts with Honest Abe. The man who would become the eponymous name for whom “The Party of Lincoln” is so ironically referred to was also almost decidedly sexually fluid. Lincoln not only shared a bed with future Congressman Joshua Speed for years, but, for a good portion of his 20s, he also shared a very small bed with his "bud" Billy Greene. They were also apparently big fans of spooning. “When one turned over the other had to do likewise,” Greene was quoted as saying. “His thighs were as perfect as a human being could be.” Me thinks that stovetop hat wasn’t the only head that was erect.

Next we have everyone’s favorite playboy, and one of the greatest leaders this country has ever known, John Fitzgerald Kennedy. First of all… that full name is gay as fuck and I love it. John Fitzgerald Kennedy sounds like what Johnny who lived down the street wants to be called now that he came out of the closet and summers in The Pines. Make it Johnathan and he’ll be hosting brunches before you know it. Kennedy was rumored to be a bit more fluid than your average Boston Irish Catholic. Kennedy and life-long best friend Kirk Lemoyne “Lem” Billings were said to be practically inseparable. Lem was an usher at JFK and Jackie’s wedding, and even had his own bedroom at the White House.

Our honorary mention (since he was never actually the president) is everyone’s favorite musical theatre character who would go on to become a Founding Father, Alexander Hamilton. This #FoundingDaddy (again: get this trending. Thx.) was no stranger to sexual escapades given his proclivity for sleeping around, so it shouldn’t come as that big of a surprise that some of the people he slept with could have been other men! Aside from the fact that many contemporaries described Hamilton as feminine, history has also shown his personal letters with two close friends to be incredibly intimate, and even romantic. Throughout the founding of this country, Hamilton kept up regular correspondence with both John Laurens and Marquis de Lafayette. So much so that our nation’s first president, George Washington, even encouraged the two to share a bunk in camp. In one of Hamilton’s letters to Laurens, he writes that he felt, “like a jealous lover, when I thought you slighted my caresses, my affection was alarmed and my vanity piqued.” Sounds pretty gay, right? It gets juicier. In another letter, A. Ham wrote, “I wish, my Dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words to convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that ‘til you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you.” Y’all he wrote him a fucking love poem! He even went so far as to say, “You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent.” I don’t know about you, but my basement is FLOODED.

Many wonder who our next Queer president will be, and if we’ll ever have an out Queer president. These days, most eyes naturally dart towards Pete Buttigieg when this discussion is brought up, but who’s to say our first Queer president won’t also be our first woman president?! Or our first non-binary president. I also think only house music should be allowed to be played in the Houses of Congress. Can someone get a Change.org thing going for this? Thx again.