From Justin Jedlica to Murray Swanby, Who Are the Hot Men of Crackle TV’s New Reality Series “Men of West Hollywood”?

February 11, 2022
TOMMY

Who are the men of Crackle TV’s Men of West Hollywood? No, I’m genuinely asking, who are they? Three are gay, three are straight, and I have no doubt they’re all socialites in their own right and this is a sign of my own phasing into proper uncool adulthood. The only one I know of is Justin Jedlica, otherwise known as “The Human Ken Doll.” So, let’s take a minute to look at who these men are and why I should know them.

Let’s get the one I know of out of the way. Justin “The Human Ken Doll” Jedlica has supposedly had over a thousand cosmetic procedures, spending over $1 million since he was a teenager on crafting his look. Having had everything from rhinoplasty, chest and shoulder implants, gluteoplasty, and lip augmentations, just to name a few. I’ll be honest, I don’t normally find hyper-plastic surgeried men to be attractive, but there’s something about Jedlica that I legit low-key love. I think it’s because he owns it so well. He has always said that this was his way of using his body for creativity, and you know what? I’m here for it. Keep doing whatever makes ya happy, stud.

Who wants to be a socialite in WeHo, though, if you’re not going to have pictures to prove it? Enter into frame Darren Tieste. I didn’t know Darren before this, but after doing some digging I’ve found that his roots in photography are well-developed! His parents were both photographers and over the years has developed a portfolio that is far from negative. Though not my usual type, Tieste is definitely a cutie. And with the talent he’s got…hey… drinks and tasteful nude shoot sometime?

Next is IG influencer Murray Swanby. Murray is quintessential IG fuckboy cute, and I’m here for it. Bring it on algorithm! I typed the words “IG fuckboy cute” and for good measure added “I’m here for it.” I assume within the next few minutes my IG feed will provide me 37,000 ads for new jockstraps and will consist of nothing else but muscled homos in PV with blue hair. Previously on the short-lived What Happens At the Abbey, and often sporting brightly dyed hair, Murray has a killer body and knows how to use it. If you live in the area, he runs promo nights at Rocco’s and Micky’s.

I don’t mind that straight people exist…I just don’t want them shoving it in my face, ya know? But since they HAVE to exist, then let’s get to know a few. Brennen Taylor, David Barta, and Landon Wetterstrom, are repping the non-homo faction of TMOWH.

Starting alphabetically we’ve got Brennen Taylor. Brennen made a name for himself from Vine (RIP), where he made high energy comedy videos, often involving him being very physical in the space in which he’s filming. I remember hooking up with a guy in LA who was so spastic in bed that he knocked out one of my contact lenses. I need you to reread that sentence and process the physics of what I just told you. He was so all over the place that he KNOCKED MY CONTACT LENSE OUT. That’s what I imagine having sex with Brennen would be like. He’s cute as fuck no doubt, but I need sex to decrease my stress levels, not jack them up.

Remember earlier how I said Murray Swanby was a “IG fuckboy cute?” Well, David Barta is IG fuckboy HOT (is this like an IG algorithm death sentence for me or something? Why am I writing these words?! Stupid Zucks). A fitness trainer in Beverly Hills, and reality TV performer from Paradise Hotel, as well, Barta is also POSSIBLY bi. He’s referred to his S.O. as his “partner” many times, but apparently not confirmed their gender. I dunno. This is all from my deep dive. Who knows what’s real anymore? All I see when I open IG now is just an algorithmic slew of hot, hairy men. Speaking of hairy, pics of Barta look like he shaves or waxes, and I’m not gonna tell him what to do with his body, but I’ll just say…when I plug in and get off, I’m usually Googling some form of hairy man (#AlgorithmIsLife). Anyway, he’s still hot as fuck.

Finally, we have Landon Wetterstrom. Yet another IG influencer/model, the pictures of Landon I’ve seen online are definitely hot as fuck. He ranges from legit muscly to that almost leathery physique some bodybuilders get. But he definitely leans more on the side of proper muscle. And with some of the strongest eyebrows I’ve ever seen, Landon is definitely strikingly hot. He does seem to give off a vibe of California stoner skater who also realized one day he was hot. Well if he wants to smoke a joint sometime, I’ll happily share something with those pouty lips. Woof.