Let’s just rip this band aid off, shall we? Episode 5 of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 14 opens up with some devastating news. The queen who has kept us fed—the queen who has SLAYED our hunger for funny, gorgeous, leader—has gone home early because of an ankle injury. By way of video message, Kornbread tells her fellow queens that her doctor has recommended she stay completely off her ankle for at least the next 6 weeks, which obviously means no dips, twirls, or runway moments are going to be happening for her anytime soon. She also made her peace with Jasmine, solidifying her as not only talented, but as a class act. My favorite queen of the season… gone. How dare those editors and producers toy with my heart like that for the last few episodes.
Now down TWO more queens than they had last week, our performers start off with every straight-curious frat bro’s favorite game: “Pop A Balloon By Ramming My Ass.” Ahhh that old chestnut. When the balloons popped, the color inside would be the color of that queen’s team. It should be noted that there are many a twink who are dominant tops and can blow out a back with the best of them. It should also be noted that Jorgeous is clearly not one of those twinks. But watching him try was a goddamn delight!
The main challenge of this week is that the teams have to produce a mock PSA for a first eliminated queen of a past season, complete with a cameo from everyone’s favorite Charity PSA Queen: Sarah McLachlan. Angeria, Deja, Jorgeous, and Kerri are tasked with making a charity PSAs for Tempest DuJour from the seventh season. Jasmine, Maddy, and Willow are on Team Jaymes Mansfield from the ninth season. And finally, Bosco, Daya, and Lady Camden need to tackle Kahmora Hall from Season 13.
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Right off the bat, we got to see who is turning into more of a leader as the season goes on, and Kornbread no doubt would have lead the shit out of a team. Unsurprisingly, Willow rises to the occasion this episode and not only clearly leads her team, but also kicked ass in on the runway. We also see a bit more into why she’s such a fierce fucking badass. Because she has the illness that she does, Willow explores and explodes every ounce of energy and talent she has. She is decidedly the corner I’m throwing my feathered cap in since I can no longer be in the Kornbread korner.
The category for the runway this week was Spring Has Sprung, and after watching the pit crew get drilled with ripped latex, it’s decidedly Spring in my apt. Blah, blah, blah, florals, spring, groundbreaking, blah, blah, blah. Okay. I got that out of my system. We love a pantsuit on a strong woman, but Angeria’s pants just weren’t the moment unfortunately, as the whole outfit looked unfinished. I’m forever a lover of butterflies, so Daya gets some extra love from me, and both Jorgeous and Kerri served up beautiful tea party couture. But my favorite look this week was actually a tie between Jasmine’s and Bosco. Jasmine was giving us Spring, she was giving us burlesque, she was giving us Poison Ivy. Stunning. Bosco came out as thunderstorm cloud, and then twirled into a sunny day. We love a clever reveal. On the topic of rainy days, I also want to give a shoutout to Maddy’s look. I love a rainy day (Eddie Rabbit could never), and so I think it was a clever take on the Spring theme.
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By and large, the queens all brought some solid looks and some killer instincts that’d make a murder hornet quiver, but the judges took an extra big liking to Bosco. They even went so far as to call her “poetry,” which…goddamn. What a compliment! And they’re not wrong. Lacking this week, however, were Jorgeous and Orion. One of the reasons I hate role playing in bed is because I can never take the bad acting seriously, and it’s clear Orion and I can never do any role playing together; oof. Jorgeous and Orion just weren’t quite there in the ways they needed to be this week, resulting in them as our bottom two. With more gaffes than Alyssa’s prop gun, Orion unfortunately started out the lip sync weak and generally stayed there throughout. Though this wasn’t Jorgeous’ best week, she came to fucking play in the lip sync battle. Sent home for a second time, Orion’s belt now has a second loss notch on it.
I’m excited for next week, but I really can’t stress enough how bummed I am that Kornbread had an early departure. Just because she can’t work the runway, I don’t see any reason she shouldn’t be the guest judge one episode, or somehow otherwise involved. Maybe she can be given another golden ticket to dole out to someone? I don’t know, I’m just spit ballin’ here. Tune in next week to see what happens.
Cybersocket—Plug In. Get Off. Questions? Comments? Email us at [email protected].