Ryan Carter’s GAY HOOKUP APP TRANSLATOR

One of our porn faves, Ryan Carter, is no stranger to Gay Hookup Apps. As part of an open relationship (Digger), he also uses the apps to network with possible faces (and other body parts) to appear in his hotter than hot self-produced content. As we all know, the actual hooking up from a gay hookup app can prove to be difficult, if possible at all. Most times, you'll get the same run around...Ryan has made this handy Gay Hookup App Translator for easy use.  Trust us, he's spot on.

Ryan Carter’s GAY HOOKUP APP TRANSLATOR:

"Sup": I'm about to toy with you for 3 hours, possibly days.

"Hi" (and only "hi"): I have no idea how irritating I am even though I am daring you to delete this message and block me. You’ll feel guilty because all I did was be nice to you.

Sends unsolicited pic of a hot guy, but has a blank profile and no location: catfish/fake profile.

"I’m free later": You’ll never see me.

"Give me a reason to delete this app": I say I'm monogamous but cheated on every boyfriend I’ve ever had … with this app.

"Just checkin’ this out" (profile is 6 years old): This is how I approach relationships. You can see why I’m single.

"Hanging with a bud": I’m tweaked out of my gourd and have been up for 3 days. I haven’t brushed my teeth since last Wednesday.

"Sorry, I was on a call": I finished masturbating and went back to work. I was too embarrassed to tell you I was over it.

"Clean/DDF": my last STD test was 5 years ago but I don’t have any symptoms so I must be "clean." I’ll probably give you gonorrhea … and warts.

"I'm into kink": I’m into K9 and plowing a full tank.

"I hike, workout, go to the beach": I have no personality and am a terrible fuck.

"Into everything but scat, blood, and pain": I have no idea how disgusting this is but I think it’s what people put even though I only give blowjobs. I’m really 62 but my profile says I’m 38. My pictures were scanned at Kinkos in the ’90s.

"Please unlock before you message me": I’ll look at everything you send and then not respond. I’m actually a jerk.

"I'm on my way": I haven't even showered yet. I'll arrive 2 hours later and be offended you won't open the door.

"I've been super busy": I spend vast swaths of time on this app trying to unsuccessfully auto fellate myself.

Check out our chat with RC & Digger about their Top 5 Tips on Managing an Open Relationship.