The art of the cruise has been part of gay culture since the beginning of time. If you travel and enjoy dabbling in the sex club world as I do, you will notice those in other regions. Most notable in my travels - Europe, Turkey, and Israel - have it down to a science. It's based on common sense. It's enjoyable, respectful, hot, and all-so-natural. Unfortunately, the USA seems to have lost its way. Years of stigma brought on by discrimination and prejudice, perpetuated by the HIV/AIDS crisis of the 1980‘s onward, plus the attack on sex of the homosexual variety in particular by cities, politicians, police forces, churches, and even some LGBT non-profits have all but shuttered the American gay bathhouse. Only recently, thanks to social media, Prep, and the age of U=U, we are finally seeing a renaissance of a sexual liberation age.
With this new age, bathhouses are reappearing, gay nightlife is becoming more and more sexually forward, and cruising areas are popping up in cities big and small. Sexuality is everywhere, but unfortunately, many of our elders who lived during the HIV/AIDS crisis are gone, and with them the wisdom they could’ve taught the younger generations. I am not an elder nor am I an expert on cruising. We are not just GAY MEN. We are many tribes, kinks, genders, and communities. To me, this general guideline of the basics is a safe bet list that will help those who don’t know what to expect or how to approach it walk into a situation with a little more confidence.
After working behind the camera for major studios in gay porn for several years, managing live bookings for hundreds of models around the world, and producing very sex-positive events in multiple cities and on three continents, I have picked up a thing or two. I have built many dark rooms and play areas for paying party-goers to enjoy, I have cleaned up a lot of lube and leftovers when the lights go on, and I have enjoyed some very hot (and not so hot) cruising experiences over the years. This Top 5 is just the surface. I hope it helps you explore the joys of self-discovery through one of the most natural things on earth… SEX.
1. Subtlety is key.
Cruising is a bit of an art form. Most is done without a word spoken. Eye contact is very important. A slight nod, a light tap on a belt buckle, other little gestures can show the other guy is interested or at the least recognizes that they see you. Good way to know if your spidey senses are correct, after making that visual contact, walk away slowly around a corner and if he follows... TA-DA… or if he walks away slowly and you follow to find him waiting around a corner … DOUBLE TA-DA!
2. There is a fine line between cruising and creepy.
If it's a cruising situation, venue, club, vibe… the mood is already set, but if the other guy doesn’t give you any hints they are interested, doesn’t approach you, doesn’t gesture for you to follow, or doesn’t follow you… PASS ON HIM. Coming on too strong or constantly brushing close to or circling the same guy will become creepy and will turn most guys off. Be cool, stay calm, if something is meant to happen, it will.
4. Be Prepared.
Whether you headed out to a cruising spot specifically to cruise and hook up or you had some drinks and the hormones kicked in bringing you to a cruising area… BE PREPARED. Good rule is if you are looking to bottom, every 30 minutes or so, give yourself a little ‘dip check’... yup, go to the restroom, stick a finger in, look and smell, and if it's all good continue on the hunt.
Some will always have an emergency sex kit in their car or bag, (lube, douche, poppers, cock ring, wet-wipes, etc.), or a real pro can grab a bottle of water from the bar and head to the closest stall... either way, an unprepared bottom can ruin the vibe for EVERYONE within smelling distance. Same goes for tops... they aren’t immune to dirty dick syndrome. If you are a Top, check your damn dick... especially in a dark room scenario when you might be passing that hard dick around. GO clean yourself off after each hole... you dirty greedy Top!
5. Yes... Consent is still sexy.
Consent is always part of the game. Just because guys are in a situation to hook up at a bathhouse, a cruising park, a sex club, or a dark room doesn’t mean you have consent to walk up, bend someone over, and stick it in... NEVER EVER EVER.
Follow the simple rules of respect and be aware of the people around. Guys can sometimes overdo it with drinking, drugs, and even poppers, and they can and may be too gone to consent. If someone seems wasted, drunk, too high, dizzy, stumbling, etc, move to the next guy. Chances are they aren’t following Step 4, anyway!
Anthony John has been a staple in gay nightlife and events for over 10 years, producing events such as Pornstar’s in Vegas, HustlaBall, Fluffer, PigDaddy and Mister, all under the ANTHONY JOHN PRESENTS umbrella.
Since 2010, Anthony began for Gay Adult Industry Studios such as Raging Stallion Studios, Naked Sword, Falcon, Hot House, Helix, Cocky Boys, Pacifico Entertainment, BadPuppy, and more. In 2019, he transitioned from Gay Adult Studio work, and is currently the Director of Events for JustFor.Fans in charge of overseeing event partnerships and sponsorships for hundreds of events around the world.
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