Early Bird Felix Fox Noshes on Joey Mills’ Dick on Men.com

Arriving at the BBQ Early Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time.

There is nothing about this scene that will make heterosexuality look appealing. Or at least not the heterosexual relationship depicted periodically throughout this 22-minute Men.com scene. The gay couple? They waste no time getting “The CockOut” and going to town on it. Right there out in the open before their friend’s BBQ. Can you imagine?

Thanks to the wonders of digital technology, you don’t have to imagine. You can watch it happen as many times as you’d like. Hell, you can keep watching it after you’re sick of it if that’s your kink. What matters is that when we enter this story, we find an accessibly cute chick with glasses freaking the fuck out because her boyfriend has conned her into setting up for their BBQ later than she wanted. Now they’re running behind and not in a sexy way. Alas for them, friends and hot couple Felix Fox and Joey Mills arrive unfashionably early. Awkward!

Fortunately for the progression of actual pornographic material, the straight couple flounces off to bicker elsewhere, thus permitting their guests the opportunity to take advantage of not only their hospitality but their mustard. Felix wants to make things up to his boyfriend and offers him a hummer. Joey is understandably uncertain about this but unsurprisingly easy to talk into. Soon his big and juicy cock is below the hem of his shorts and Felix is violating good table manners and, depending on your palate, good taste by squirting mustard on it. Then he puts the whole meat and condiment package into his mouth, lapping at it with his tongue and practically foaming at the mouth with mustard at one point.

Seems like a waste of a perfectly fine dick to me, but I’m not a mustard fan. Maybe if it were steak sauce, we could talk details. Until then, we’ll just watch Felix and Joey interrupted by the previously shrieking straight girl and sent unknowingly to keep the fellatio happening behind the BBQ grill itself, which her boyfriend apparently does not know how to operate. The blowjob isn’t her idea, mind you, but the lads have set their minds to accomplish a task and by gum, they’re going to do it! This time it’s Joey on his knees with a mouth full of Felix.

“How’s that dick taste,” Felix asks rhetorically, knowing that the answer is a favorable one based on the slurping and deep-throating Joey’s busy with. Of course, a screechy blonde girl needs help so Joey rushes over to be the hero, mooning his boyfriend before doing so. Felix, frustrated, grabs a conveniently located fruit pie, adjourns to the kitchen, and replicates a scandalous scene from a popular 1990s-era movie. The pie does not survive the process. It’s all very tragic, especially when Joey walks into the kitchen and finds his boyfriend dick-deep in an apple pie.

On the plus side, Felix’s doubtlessly delicious cock must only taste that much better with apple pie spread all over it. It sure has to be better than mustard whether it’s tapped on his tongue, jammed down this throat, vigorously thrust and withdrawn from his mouth, or involved in the development of drool tendrils.

After another panicked heterosexual interruption, the couple gets back to work with much moaning that should attract attention but doesn’t because I assume the blonde is somewhere having a meltdown and drowning everything else out. Joey leans against the center island of the kitchen and accepts Felix’s cock with grace and apparent ease. Soon he’s taking it fast and furious up the butt.

Because straight people can’t stay the hell out of the way when gay men are trying to fuck in their kitchen, the stressed-out Sheila wanders into the area of operation and spies the destroyed pie. Heartbroken at her “super smashed” baked good, she once again flees, which gives Joey the opportunity to change position subtly, so Felix and the camera have better access. Not content to lean against the island, they climb on top of it and bang it out missionary for a while before settlings into some reverse with impressive ease.

It's a position that works great for Joey because not only does he sport a healthy erection but he cums all over himself. Upon completion of this erotic achievement, they both jump off of the island, with Joey taking on the traditional pre-facial kneeling position. Felix’s cum-laden shots are true and land on his sweetie’s face in white blobs. Then guess who shows out to see “The CockOut?” Our favorite endlessly bickering straight couple! Unexpectedly, everyone has a laugh at the sheer goofiness of the “horny little rabbits” that need to get dressed before other guests show up.

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