OPEN POST: If You Could Have Sex With One Celebrity…

WHO WOULD IT BE?!?!?!?!?

In this hypothetical, you can only have sex with one celebrity over the duration of your entire life. So the man you pick will literally be the ONE celebrity you will ever have the pleasure of copulating with. You can still have sex with as many non-celebrities as you like. But this is the one chance you will ever have to fuck someone famous. Who. Will. You. Choose?

 

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By this point, mine should be obvious. South Bend, Indiana is miles away from where I live in Chicago. Yet we can still feel tremors every time Pete's massive obese dumper jiggles with each labored step he takes. He's wreaking havoc on the infrastructure of the city! Not to mention his own health. Poor thing. And don't even get me started on that excessively thick Coke can cock. The sheer g-force it pulls while swinging side to side in his pants threatens to knock Earth out of orbit. My man's a danger to society!

 

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Ugh but honestly. I love Pete so much and I have our first time all planned out. It's going to be beautiful and tender and the aftermath will require a biohazard cleanup crew of about two dozen people. Ah. I love love!

Please think long... and oh, please think hard... about your one true celebrity sex partner, and SPILLZ in the comments!

 

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