PETE BUTTIGIEG SHOWS MAJOR THIGH HAIR ON INSTAGRAM

July 30, 2020
HIS_EXCELLENCY

View this post on Instagram

I just can’t tell if he’s comfortable....

A post shared by Pete Buttigieg (@pete.buttigieg) on Jul 28, 2020 at 6:55pm PDT

Last night I was working on my Chardonnay avec ice, watching some True Blood, overall minding my own damn business, when I checked in on Instagram only to be confronted with the coarsest, thickest, and overall daddiest bramble of thigh hair this side of the Mississippi! Then I instantly exploded all over myself.

That thigh hair of course belongs to the 2020's fat assed daddy to beat - Pete Buttigieg. Ma boottigieg posted a pic of his dog Truman nuzzled against his thigh. While we see a bit of what appears to be a blanket, we actually don't see any shorts or underwear in this picture.

Naturally this means that Pete Buttigieg's Red Bull can cock and gargantuan medically fascinating balls are freely floating around just inches below the frame. I know he's not running for the presidency anymore, but I didn't expect Pete's Instagram to become his OnlyFans portal so quickly! Mamaw this is porn. And it gets my vote!

All joking aside, I still legitimately see a future for Pete and me as a romantic couple, and the fact that you guys continue to support this frankly inevitable coupling in the comments just makes me all the more certain that it's going to happen. Pete, if you're reading this, let's stop this cat and mouse game and move into that Palm Springs midcentury modern with the pool and mature citrus trees we've been eyeing. LU!

::Has mental breakdown::

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by buddy_truman_edge (@boot_edge_edge) on Jun 5, 2020 at 7:52am PDT

Happy Veterans Day, @PeteButtigieg. Not only a loving husband but a devoted public servant who continuously puts people, and country, before himself. I am in awe of you and so thankful for you. pic.twitter.com/JEzztXofMS

— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chasten) November 11, 2018