If you've followed Daniel Radcliffe's career post-Harry Potter you know that the man absoultely refuses to take on a mainstream role. This played to our advantage when he went fully nude to portray a teenager accused of blinding six horses in a stage production of Equus. Radcliffe's obsession with niche roles also played to our advantage in a major way when he got gay fucked in Kill your Darlings.
But it did not work out in our favor when he farted his way across the ocean using a prosthetic ass in Swiss Army Man. And sadly, Radcliffe's hotness trajectory appears to officially be on the decline as his role in Guns Akimbo isn't necessarily the otter gay porn fornication festival we had hoped for...
In one Guns Akimbo scene Daniel Radcliffe does attempt to pee with guns as hands, leading to a shot of his uncut penis whipping piss around the bathroom as he clumsily battles his lack of dexterity. Because, again, he has guns bolted to his hands.
While a newbie might think he's seeing Daniel Radcliffe's actual uncut penis in this scene, it's actually a prosthetic. In fact it's a prosthetic that doesn't even appear to be properly centered on Radcliffe's body. ::Takes huge sigh:: ::Hums 'What Might Have Been' by Little Texas::
Part of Daniel Radcliffe's allure is that he truly has zero fucks to give. Part of what allows an actor to have zero fucks to give is copious amounts of money in the bank, and with a reported $110 million to his name thanks to the Harry Potter franchise, don't expect Daniel Radcliffe to be pressured into starring in good movies anytime soon.
And if you're wondering if Guns Akimbo, which is now streaming on Amazon Prime, is in fact a good movie... it... is not. The plot involves a video game developer in the future waking up with guns as hands and made to fight to the death in a real-life video game streamed for the enjoyment of sickos. Guns Akimbo currently has a 53% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, with a reviewer for Decider stating that the movie "aims for bad taste, but [is] just tasteless."
We love Daniel Radcliffe, and we love his dedication to the LGBTQ community, but when it comes to his recent nudity...
Sorry, I'm a bitter Betty!