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Impossibly, Painfully, Miserably Gorgeous Model Of The Week: Lukas Hoffmann

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Can a man's beauty be obnoxious? Gratuitous? Egregious? Offensive? Against everything I stand for as a Christian woman? Yes yes yes yes and obviously. The abomination who posses this disturbing level of beauty is none other than German Insta supermodel Lukas Hoffmann, and mamaw, I think I found the one!

 

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My little antichrist has the most chocolatey brown eyes you will ever see, a jet black head of hair that I'm not unconvinced is a Pomeranian, a breathtaking level of chest fuzz (which sadly only periodically avoids being butchered with a razor), eyegoddamnBROWS, and - let's all say it together - an iconic legendary beard that should be insured for a brazilian dollars. A. Brazilian. Dollars.

Even though Lukas has posted over 500 pics of himself on Insta, only about a half-dozen of them are shirtless. This left me discouraged until I discovered his modeling reel on YouTube! Lukas starts out clothed but eventually strips off his shirt - living out out all of our casting couch fantasies. And then at the end he takes out his big hairy dick and works up a Dixie Cup's worth of baby batter. Hey a blogger can dream...

 

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