Um, Pete Buttigieg Has Like a Beard Now. Like A BEARD Beard

March 26, 2020
HIS_EXCELLENCY

IT'S HERE AND IT'S SPECTACULAR#BeardEdgeEdge pic.twitter.com/oAdTKrwNE7
— Stefan Smith (@TheStefanSmith) March 25, 2020

I've damn well made a career out of creating pornographic Pete Buttigieg content out of basically thin air, because everyone's favorite failed presidential candidate THOT just refuses to throw us a damn bone! That is... until now. Recently Pete took questions from his followers on Instagram Live, and I frankly don't know how anyone avoided short-circuiting their phones with intense relentless squirting. BECAUSE THE MAN FINALLY GREW A DAMN BEARD. Wait let me try that again I'm doing this new thing that everyone loves. 🚨BECAUSE🚨 THE 🚨MAN🚨 FINALLY 🚨GREW🚨 A 🚨DAMN 🚨BEARD🚨 .

A thread on @PeteButtigieg and Dr. @darakass discussion on #COVID19. 1st a discussion on how Dr. Dara is doing after being diagnosed with the coronavirus. pic.twitter.com/NlwrhpUglI
— Javier happy warrior 4 Pete (@javiergleddy) March 26, 2020

And this isn't a "beard" like we saw last week. This is a BEARD beard. And oh mama. As a proud American and a voter, my hanging chad is on fiya. We mused last week about the potential of getting pics of Pete Buttigieg in a tank top - which could possibly lead to some nizasty pit action. But at this rate (the full beard came way sooner than I could have ever hoped for) I'm thinking shirtless pics this summer. Or am I just a dreamer? South Bend and my city of Chicago are equidistance to Indian Dunes National Park. So I guess my question for Gawd is - will Pete be shirtless this summer and will he fuck me on a dune. Comment below. JK don't.

Pete Buttigieg is growing a beard. pic.twitter.com/Yxvp3z0elp
— andrew kaczynski (@KFILE) March 25, 2020

“Oh look who’s joining us— the beard himself,” Chasten Buttigieg tells supporters on Instagram, introducing husband and former presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg (and dog, Buddy, moments later). pic.twitter.com/9wmhASx4db
— DJ Judd (@DJJudd) March 23, 2020