Chasten Buttigieg Posts Picture of Pete’s 600-lb Ass

December 12, 2019
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A post shared by Pete Buttigieg (@pete.buttigieg) on Nov 27, 2019 at 6:06pm PST

First off, I genuinely am hoping for a world in which liberals can talk about their preferred democratic candidates like they're kids talking about their favorite G.I. Joes. It goes like this: We're all just excitedly reading off the facts from the back of the action figure packaging - all with the understanding that all of the characters are cool in different ways and that all are on the same team. Facing off against Cobra. If we go into battle with our G.I. Democrat action figures and ours dies, we root for our friend's G.I. Joe. Even though their G.I. Joe's ass is in pristine physical condition while I prefer an ass that's wheelchair-bound. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?

I say all of this because at a Christmas party this weekend after being engaged in a political discussion against my will I innocently mentioned to a gay man that I want Pete to sit on my face and thus surely kill me, and this guy literally became irate! He was a Warren supporter, but by the time I told him that she too could sit on my face, the damage had been done. A friendship lost. I don't want this type of iconic gay fallout to happen between you guys - my best friends - and me, so know that while Pete Buttigieg is the national hero of my spank bank, I'm thankful for all the democratic candidates who are brave enough to stand up for what they believe in.

ANYWAY, the obesity. Chasten Buttigieg's Instagram and Twitter and the places to see the sexiest pictures of Pete, because Chasten is a thirsty little houseplant and only Pete can provide enough liquid to saturate his soil. There are far less ass pictures of Pete Buttigieg than one would hope, but thankfully Chasten caught his ill hubby contemplating his own double-wide dumper while looking out a window pensively, and more importantly, sexily! He thinks to himself "Why is my ass so hairy and big? And while I'm at it, why is my cock the exact size of a Coke can? And why are my balls pomegranates?" All great questions for the next debate.

Heading down to the County City building one last time to watch @PeteButtigieg’s farewell address to the council. What a wild four years it’s been standing by his side watching him guide this city. Immensely proud. pic.twitter.com/TzLGOuwl65

— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chas10Buttigieg) December 9, 2019