Pete Buttigieg And His Clinically Obese Ass Won The Dem Debate Apparently

 

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A post shared by Pete Buttigieg (@pete.buttigieg) on Nov 4, 2019 at 5:11pm PST

Another Democratic Debate went down this week, but I knew it was going to be a letdown before it even started as a whistleblower informed me the broadcast would not showcase a certain clinically obese dumper from a certain openly homosexual South Bend mayor. I'm an American and I have rights! Since we last checked in with Pete Buttigieg he's climbed significantly in Iowa polling:

NEW #IOWAPOLL:

Buttigieg: 25%
Warren: 16%
Biden: 15%
Sanders: 15%
Klobuchar: 6%
Booker: 3%
Gabbard: 3%
Harris: 3%
Steyer: 3%
Yang: 3%
Bloomberg: 2%
Bennet: 1%

No other candidate polled above 0%. https://t.co/3k1E7HXWAD

— Des Moines Register (@DMRegister) November 17, 2019

Experts speculated that this lead would prompt the other candidates to attack Buttigieg during the debate. But the beches were straight up sleeping on Pete! Aside from an exchange with Tulsi Gabbard that Pete slayed, no one really came for his ass. Or as CNN states:

It was as though the other nine candidates were totally unaware that polling released in the last few days showed the South Bend mayor as the front-runner in Iowa and surging in New Hampshire.

Plus Pete was swerving all the shade hernty, with one-liners like:

I know that from the perspective of Washington, what goes on in my city might look small. But frankly, where we live, the infighting on Capitol Hill is what looks small.

And:

Washington experience is not the only experience that matters. There’s more than 100 years of Washington experience on this stage, and where are we as a country? #DemDebate pic.twitter.com/TtXszfuhHS

— Pete Buttigieg (@PeteButtigieg) November 21, 2019

Drag her. CNN, The Washington Post, and some of the other heavy-hitters crowned Buttigieg as one of the night's biggest winners. And to think that Pete did this good of a job during the debate when the poor thing's saddled with a double-wide dumper that's gotten so engorged it's probably going to need to be amputated in order for Pete to lead a normal life! We stan an ill queen.

I've been scanning for new sexy pics of Pete but for some strange reason his social media interns are favoring political commentary over pics that help me achieve fits of erotic ecstasy. I will point out three things that I've seen recently regarding the eroticism of my future husband. First, he got a haircut and it tests the moisture-wicking qualities of my Uniqlo underwear:

Second, I loved seeing his blue jean realness on the trail recently and can we just say - stomach: flat:

Third, a$$: