Riverdale? Oh gurl didn't you hear she was canceled? There's a new group of teens in town and they are pornier than even the Pervy CW Execs could have imagined! Heaven Help Us is a 1985 teen comedy about a bunch of Catholic boys who get into all sorts of crazy shenanigans at a Brooklyn Catholic school in the 60s. Both the movie and the time in which it is set are pre-Spotlight, so, yeah. ::Hesitant tongue pop to break awkward silence:: Werk.
80's teen comedies so often feature gratuitous female nudity that seeing about two dozen guys lined up completely nekked with their plump asses and retro bushes out and proud is quite the anomaly. The a-nom-nom-nomaly lol jk rotfl. McDreamy himself, Patrick Dempsey, looks almost unrecognizable here:
And we get some shirtless action from blue-eyed 80's star Andrew McCarthy of Pretty in Pink fame:
But you're really going to want to pay attention to this bush-out movie extra on the far right, who didn't get the memo that most of the other guys were covering their cocks and balls with their hands:
Giving the priests what they way. I mean people!