Everyone knows that the fattest, juiciest, thiccest azz in the country belongs to Pete Buttigieg. In fact it might be so fat that it won't even fit inside the Oval Office. We have to think about logistics people! The thirty-seven-year-old presidential hopeful and his obese dumper got hitched to my arch-nemesis Chasten Buttigieg in 2018, and the two are so damn thirsty for each other on social media that it gives me pause/lowkey turns my genitals inside out.
Chasten's the main offender here, but for as measured as Pete is, sometimes his big throbbing nizasty Coke can dick gets the best of him and he pines for Chasten on social. You both are too damn erect! Enough. Erections. Also Pete Buttigieg and his My 600 Pound Azz should be pining for ME. So yeah here are the times the two were so grotesque that they were basically un-American:
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9) (Note, no one is allowed to caption anything with "This guy.")
8) (I repeat.)
7) (I repeat.)
6) (This is only thirsty because of Pete's legs. But that's on me. Mama wanna!)
5) (Again, my bad. This is only thirsty because I need to inhale Pete's face up my butt here.)
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1) (And finally, the tweet that made me throw my phone across the room and join Justin Bieber's cult.)
Four years ago I drove over to South Bend to go on date with this handsome guy I met. We had a pint, watched a baseball game, held hands by the river, and watched fireworks burst over our heads as we prepared to say goodbye. My gosh, we had no idea did we @PeteButtigieg? pic.twitter.com/3weHvPI2nl
— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chas10Buttigieg) August 28, 2019
Photo Credit: Instagram