Rocketman: Richard Madden, Taron Egerton’s Gay Sex, Nudity

September 4, 2019
HIS_EXCELLENCY

First off, if you're wondering why that headline looks like it was written by a bot - for SEO purposes we're supposed to keep headlines under 60 characters. For the first time in a while I tallied the characters, and, turns out henty, I've been crafting like 200 character headlines for years. Sorry if I can't be tamed! So, that's why the headline sucks.

Speaking of sucking, let's get to Taron Egerton... sucking dat dick! Hollywood's snarkiest ambiguously straight starlet spent the months leading up to Rocketman's theatrical release gay-baiting us to within an inch of our lives, and now the fruits of his gaybor are available to rent or own an all of your favorite streaming platforms. This means that you can see his hot little bod as young Elton John and even his gay sex and make outs with Richard Madden, who plays Elton's maniacal manager. The flick promised to be a lot more sexually explicit than it ended up being, so this is all we got boo. #Gaytothebaited. So ya, I didn't promise you the world with that headline, and the world you're not getting with this movie. Enjoy!