Open Post: Do You Give A Stupid Turd About Valentine’s Day?

February 14, 2019
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A post shared by Nolan Gould (@nolangould) on Dec 22, 2018 at 11:46pm PST

Valentine's Day is the special day when people pound mountains of candy, followed by huge meals out, and then expect others to want to have sex with them. Try bottoming when you're basically a piñata filled with chocolate and spaghetti. I spent way too long today wracking my brain for a Valentine's Day-related post before I realized that maybe, just maybe, Valentine's Day is a tragic embarrassing stupid turd day reserved for turd people who exchange turd cards to fill the turd void that is their turd lives? THOTS?

But really, I want to hear what you have to say about Valentine's Day in the comments. Is love still alive? Do bitter dried out vaginas like myself need to embrace a harmless and fun holiday that helps break up an otherwise bleak February? Does eating a pound of chocolate just make the butthole that much sweeter? Let us know, and, ughhhhhhhhhh, Happy Valentine's Day!(?)