Who’d You Rather Finger: Timothée Chalamet Or Armie Hammer

November 21, 2018
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First off, thank you so much to those who let their dicks be heard in our last Who'd You Rather Finger! Without your comments, this is literally the saddest thing on the Internet, so, thank you. No one's going to be wildly surprised to hear that K.J. Apa won over Noah Centineo, but Centineo put up a good fight, and of course, the poll was taken before his second round of dick gifs. I'd do a rematch, but quite frankly, I've moved on emotionally.

This brings us to our newest Who'd You Rather Finger featuring the stars of Call Me By Your Name, Timothée Chalamet and Armie Hammer! You know me to have my finger on the pulse of the pop culture zeitgeist, and obviously nothing is more topical than a movie that came out ten years ago. In all honestly, CMBYM's legacy still lives on even though it was released in the 1500's, and we've never officially pitted sexy stars Timothée Chalamet and Armie Hammer against each other, so, ain't no damn time like the present!

The twenty-two-year-old Timothée Chalamet is just plain beautiful. His viral beauty even earned him an Instagram account that pairs his beautiful face with beautiful classic paintings. He's currently starring in a movie called Beautiful Boy (I realize it's about meth but just stay with me.) His beauty makes me happy in my pants but sad when I look in the mirror. For who could ever learn to love... a beast. Gay Gawd and Mother Nature and biology spent a little extra time on Chalamet, and ya, he's just fucking beautiful - from his striking features to his head of hair you could lose a dick in to his tute wittle tush.

On the other side of the ring we have zaddy with a z, thirty-two-year-old Armie Hammer, who dominated Chalamet's tute wittle tush in CMBYM! Hammer is 6' fucking 5" tall, has old Hollywood leading man good looks, and a hot ass. You've seen the movie, you know what's up, so have a heart-to-heart with your prostate, then head to the comments and let us know Who You'd Rather Finger: Timothée Chalamet Or Armie Hammer!