Boyblog Booty Call: Global Warming Edition

April 3, 2007
JONNO

Global Warming. Climate Change. We could sit around all day in our icy, air-conditioned Hummers splitting semantic and scientific hairs about what ultimately caused the extinction of the Woolly Mammoth or guessing which state the next ice shelf to break from the North Pole will most likely resemble. (Our vote: Arkansas!) But we'd rather take you on a short journey through the gay blogosphere where tight jeans, Johnny Hazzard, naked royals, and cartoons are the factors most likely to cause a rise in temperatures.

Catch up with a few of our favorite truths (inconvenient and otherwise) from the boyblog omniverse in today's Boyblog Booty Call after the jump. -VH/JD

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Over at Duece La Cock there's a nice retrospective of a soon-to-be-bygone era when jeans were actually worn. Tightly. And apparently only by men with huge bulges. In an era where jeans are mostly an afterthought to give your boxer shorts something to peek out of, we'll take a pair of well-worn denims anytime.

· "Tight Package" and "Show Your Business" (deucelacock.net/deuceblog)

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And speaking of things we'd like to put on us, the always delightful Johnny Hazzard—he of runway and music video fame—will be featured in the new ad campaign for Rufskin Jeans. Owner-slash-designer Hubert (yes, just Hubert) used a number of very important superlatives to describe his experience with Mr. Hazard in his press release including "Thick" and "Tasty." (Or was it "Great" and "A Pro?") If his sartorial talents are even half as fine as his models, then color us Rufskins!

· "Johnny Hazzard Gets Ruff with Fashion" (starrfucker.net)

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Meanwhile, Gayleria (catchy!) continues to feature more unbelievably huge penises than you can, er, shake a stick at. These mammoth (and occasionally digitally enhanced, if not woolly) appendages made us feel overwhelmed, like maybe we really are just these tiny little grains of sand in an unforgiving universe after all. But then we realized that that very same unforgiving universe also created these astounding slabs of man meat to begin with. And then the universe didn't seem like this dark, humungous thing that could suck us up into infinity anymore. Or at least not as much.

· Gayleria's "Penis XL" Archive (gayleria.blogspot.com)

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Rising temperatures aren't just something that happen on a global scale: for example, were you aware that there existed a way to make Hot House dreamboat Francesco D'Macho even hotter? Artist Ismael Alverez's method involves using some colored pencils and a few extra inches here and there, but we think you'll agree the results would make Al Gore even more nervous than he already is.

· Francesco D'Macho by Ismael Alvarez (ismaelalvarez.com, 3/22 post; sound file warning)

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The historical record is woefully silent on the environmental policies of the Tudor dynasty. However, if everyone in Henry VIII's court looked as good naked as Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Henry Cavill do in Showtime's "The Tudors", we're surprised this whole global warming business didn't start reaching crisis levels a couple of centuries ago.

· "Henry Cavill Naked In 'The Tudors' (ohlalaparis.com)

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Finally, all those rising temperatures are bound to have their effects on even the most high and mighty among us ... especially where the effectiveness (or lack thereof) of their antiperspirant is concerned. Are photos of celebrity pit stains just another way to knock the famous down a peg or two, or are they a future fetish site in the making? You decide.