USA Jock’s “Morning Hardons”: Why Do The Boxes Lie, Daddy?

When we wake up with morning hardons, we can bet on a couple of things--namely, it's morning and we're hard. But if that's supposed to be the case in USA Jock's "Morning Hardons", we ain't buying it. For one, when we wake up, we're not usually this pretty: we haven't shaved, and we certainly haven't waxed. (We never wax.) Second, there's no hardon: we totally love subtlety, but there are definitely times when we need someone to show us the metaphorical money, and all this box cover gives us is words, and ones in a lousy font at that. But most offensively of all, the box has the nerve to ask us a question: "Wouldn't you like to wake up with a hardon next to this hottie?" If it is, in fact, early morning, the last thing we want is someone asking us questions -- unless it's "Can you stay for breakfast? The butler's on his way up." And if someone is asking us that, why would we need to have the DVD player on anyway?

· "Morning Hardons" (pornteam.com)