Going Back To A Town Called “Manville”

We hope it's not too late to offer this list of eleven things we would do as mayor of Kristen Bjorn's "Manville", which seems to have been released last year even though it somehow just wound up at the top of our screener pile. (Maybe they can save it for midterm elections or something?)

1. Bring back body hair for all! (Or most!)

2. Entice a dozen design queens to tidy up the place--because those rustically decayed balustrades should be functional, too.

3. Declare war on our evil cousin, the Mayor of Excuses Village.

4. Nail the interns!

5. Get nailed by the interns! (Because "Versatility!" would be our new town motto.)

6. Approach the townfolk slowly, letting them smell the back of our hand before we pet them. They look a little tweaked freaked out.

7. Address the simmering problem of race relations.

8. Open a belt shoppe. We'll be rich, we tell you!

9. Encourage citizens to invest in shirts for the long winter nights ahead.

10. Nix the town's official subtitle, "The City of Men", because it's redundant and we need to reduce the city's engraving budget. Seriously: 50 cents per letter adds up.

11. Check all the desk drawers to see if the outgoing Mayor McCheese accidentally left behind any of his juicy, delicious, musically talented Fry Guys. But, um, we're not so into Fry Girls.

· "Manville" (now on sale @ KristenBjorn.com)