“Bear Oasis” Gets Hairy In The Palms

We understand that bears are not everyone's cup of tea. Sure, they're a lot more mainstream than they used to be, but they're still a tad fetishy for many garden variety, twink-loving pornoisseurs. So we understand that companies making porn for bear enthusiasts don't have as much money to spend on their productions as, say, Michael Lucas. But still: in 2008, when you can't swing a cat without hitting a fifth grader with mad Photoshop skillz, can't Pantheon, you know, swing a cat and find someone who understands the concept of "magenta" (the color, not the character in "Rocky Horror"), who could've looked at the box cover for "Bear Oasis" and said, "My, but those bears seem awfully pink"? 'Cause Rik Kappus and Marc Angelo are looking slightly Easter eggy or slightly albinoish, depending on the light—and it's making us hesitate to think about what their manly touches must feel like. And we know that's not the way they look in the video, because we've seen the hot, sexy, furry trailer. Please to fix now?That said, we are srsly crushing on Dan Rhodes; In fact, we think he should star in a giant fetish bear video, which Pantheon could conveniently title "Colossus of Rhodes". In the meantime, we love his hot, sexy, bald head and would like to see more of it—especially on the box cover, even though right now there's something about the way it's lopped off just above the eyebrows that feels a little "Boxing Helena" to us. Please to also fix now? Design quibbles aside, though, "Bear Oasis" is one of the hottest release—ursocentric or otherwise—to cross our inbox in a while. Sometimes, you just can't judge a book by its shoddily designed cover. • "Bear Oasis" at TLAvideo and PantheonMen.com (includes trailer)