Michael Lucas’ “Farts!”: The Silent (But Deadly) Porn Menace

September 24, 2008
STURTLE

How do we love Michael Lucas? Let us count the ways! For one, he's got good taste in the mens. For two, he's a (self-anointed) fashionista. And for three, he's kinda wacko! As if to prove that last point, La Lucas is currently megahyping his groundbreaking, wind-breaking feature, "Farts!" (we're pretty sure that exclamation point is part of the title, a la "Cats!") Contrary to what you might expect, however, we don't think the DVD's concept is all that crazy--because as Miley Cyrus has shown us, there is truly a market out there for everything.

Rather, it's Lucas' quixotic attempt to convey the magic of flatulence in mere video. Not since the John Waters masterpiece "Polyester" has a movie director so enthusiastically attempted to depict his regard of all things olfactory; Waters, however, at least had the benefit of Odorama cards to let sniffers share in the onscreen action. Will Lucas do the same in a future Special Limited Edition Director's Cheese Cut of the DVD? Or will we be forced to imagine the raunch in deafening, Febreeze-scented silence? (And, philosophically speaking: if a pornstar farts on screen, does it really stink?)