Hold Our Jewelry, Cause Nerve.com Just Taked Shit About Our Boyfriend

November 20, 2008
BRIAN-O-BRIEN

We here at Fleshbot Central are a peace-loving people. Usually we just lie around, watching porn, eating baked goods, and inappropriately fondling the interns. But every so often we hear something that makes us throw down our brownie and stand up to fight. Nerve.com, the online magazine about sex for smart people, is trying to rob our boyfriend Hugh Jackman of his "Sexiest Man Alive" title. People magazine just dubbed our hunk of Australian hotness the sexy King and now Nerve is trying to bestow the crown on....Ryan Gosling? Um, what?! First of all Gosling doesn't have a $100+ movie to promote right now (other things he doesn't have: a Tony, an accent, muscle tone, the ability to say he wasn't on the Mickey Mouse Club) and we know he can't be that hot because there aren't pervasive rumors among queens that he's gay. So you hipsters at Nerve can have your fey, tortured "artiste," we've already pledged our heart to Hugh. After the jump, see why he'll will always be our favorite.