“Rolling Stone” has Ruined Brad Pitt for the Rest of Us

Why does Brad Pitt look like a creepy old porn director on the cover of "Rolling Stone?" Did Jann Wenner suck out all his life force or something?

We're not sure exactly, but this cover, and one of the pictures inside that we found online, is not doing the man any favors. As it is, he has a tough sell. He already has to get people to go see some bleak, 17-hour movie where he goes from Yoda to total hotness. No one wants to spend their $11.50 on that in the middle of the worst recession since the Great Barter Collapse of 782 B.C. Is the magazine pissed because Angie won't do a cover or something? Maybe the whole thing is one of George Clooney's elaborate practical jokes. Yeah, that's gotta be it. All we have to say is, we want our Brad Pitt back all blond and beautiful and all-American or else we're going boycott this movie and then the economy will never recover. Do you want that on your heads, "Rolling Stone?" Do you?!

·Brad Pitt Reveals No Major Bombshell in Rolling Stone (socialitelife.celebuzz.com)