What’s Next—A Collection of Ugly Pizza Delivery Boys?

December 16, 2008
BRIAN-O-BRIEN

Waiting for the cable guy is always a drag, but at least there was always the possibility he would be hot and your life could turn into a porn scenario. Well, no more!

Our friends over at Nerve.com posted about this creepy calendar from Time Warner Cable that is like a cross between a Tom of Finland drawing and a Norman Rockwell painting. The guys are hot(ish) but they are all doing really normal things, but in the weirdest way possible. Almost like it's a parody of all those hunky calendars out there. Maybe they're trying to stop us from harassing all their technicians by dispelling the myth of their sexiness and availability. Whatever, it looks like we're getting Direct TV next year so that a satellite dish shows up at our door.

Speaking of professionals to objectify, the boys at New York's gay magazine Next certainly know how to do it. Their calendar full of the the city's barkeeps (like Frank from Chelsea watering hole Barracuda) in their underwear is a site to behold. See, no cheesy set ups, just give us what we want: hot naked guys! Well, we'd rather go out for a cocktail than sit on the couch watching ~~porn~~ "Golden Girls" reruns anyday.