Kurt Diesel, You Are Under Arrest For Porn Name Fraud

December 19, 2008
BRIAN-O-BRIEN

Part of the fun of starring in porn (other than the sex and money) is that you can come up with a new name. Kurt Diesel needs to go back to the drawing board.

There are as many formulas for coming up with one as there are bottoms in West Hollywood (and that's a lot!) but the best ones are clever, easy to say, and somewhat descriptive or indicative of the image the model is trying to portray. For example, Tony Buff is buff and Barrett Long is long and Francesco D'Macho is macho and likes unnecessary apostrophes. Bel Ami's Kurt Diesel is neither a kurt, nor a diesel. The word "diesel" conjures up images of trains, trucks, and guys who shrink their penises with steroids, not twinky Europeans with highlights. Yes, Kurt is very cute and has a fantastic body and a wonderful hooded cock, but he is by no means "diesel." He's more of a "compact" or a "hybrid." Kurt Honda or Kurt Prius doesn't work. Do you boys have any suggestions? We're going to rebrand the Porn-Star-Formerly-Known-As-Kurt-Diesel and we're going to do it right.

So, to recap:

Diesel (Washington).