Girl, Hold Our Jewelry, Fleshbot is on the Warpath

Did you hear the shit they are talking about us over at The Sword? Unlike a giant cock, this is one thing we will not take lying down!

When blogging about the upcoming Grabby porn awards and their election for a co-host, (jokingly) that we would endorse Wolf Hudson for the post if he would take us as his date to the awards show. Those nameless boys at the Sword said they would pay Wolf $50 to take them instead of us.

Thanks to Nick Denton, we're on a budget, but here are five reasons that Wolf Hudson should go out with us rather than The Sword.

1. We like girls too! For those of you who dared venture onto the straight side of the site, you know we have titties and twat to spare, and we know you love those, Wolf, and we're willing to share.

2. We only pledged to use our influence to get ourselves laid and The Sword offered Wolf 50 lousy dollars. That's the difference between a high-class Hollywood producer using the casting couch, and some fat, middle-aged father of two from New Jersey pulling over his minivan and asking if you're looking for a date.

3. Cause this isn't the middle ages. Who uses Swords anymore?

4. The Sword has crabs...and anal warts.

5. Have you seen our Manhunt profile?!