A Proposition For A New Olympic Sport: The Long Shoot

For centuries, athletes have relied on diet and exercise to push their bodies to physical extremes for competition. Why should giant cum shots be left out of the mix?

We propose a new competition. It would work something like this: a guy stands against a wall and films himself jerking off with a tape measure on the ground. When he cums, he films it and then the camera follows the farthest spurt to see where it lands. The handy tape measure will let us know just how far it splattered. It would look much like this "cum cannon" from LimeInch, who did everything but measure the impressive length his sperm leapt out of his body. Of course as more people engage in this activity, the further they'll have to shoot and next thing you know, we'll be producing fellas who can spray clear across the room. Now that is what we call good sportsmanship.

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