We’d Rather Look At Pictures of Jake Gyllenhaal Than Dr. Manhattan’s Huge Wang

And it's a good thing, because we can't find pictures of the Watchman's member anywhere on the internet. Gay fanboys, we're ashamed of you! (Maybe you got your fill in the movie?)

In Zach Synder's epic adaptation of "Watchmen," superhero Dr. Manhattan spends most of the movie naked (as he did in the comic book it was based on). But in the comic, Dr. M had a modestly-sized, normal schlong. Here, as played by Billy Crudup, he has a CGI appendage that is so large it could be in "Pirate's Booty". Sure, we never see it erect, but it dangles quite magnificently, with an ample foreskin that is a little bit long for our taste. And it seems that Manhattan's cock is, um, on every critic's tongue.

Since we couldn't find the naked screen captures anywhere online (again, for shame!), we're going to have to comfort ourselves with shirtless pics from another upcoming sci-fi epic. These are the first shots of Jakey G starring in the "Prince of Persia" movie, based on the popular video game series.

Every gay man has the type of guy that he loves, but Jake transcends all those types. He's the universal token of gay longing. Twink lovers, bear chasers, muscle fanatics, or anything in between; every gay wants to bone Jake, so much so that the rumors about his sexuality are always swirling. (And doing that faggot cowboy movie certainly didn't hurt either.) Good sci-fi geeks that we are, we just can't wait to see him running around in baggy pants and a fez a la Aladdin. Too bad we have to wait more than a year before the release date (though we have our own "release date" with these photos tonight). We may not see the bait and tackle, but we'll still be hooked.

· Prince Jake Datan Gyllenhaal (ohlalamag.com)