Whoever Let David Beckham Speak, Please Make Him Stop

Have you ever heard actual words come out of David Beckham's mouth? We haven't either, and he sounds like a Cockney parody and it's kind of killing our wood. His abs still rule, though.

Here is the behind-the-scenes footage from a photo shoot he did for a phone called the Motorola Aura (since we're poor, we never heard of it, but our friends over at Gizmodo love it). Of course he's wearing barely any clothing, but at least when he did those nude shots for Armani he was hawking a line of underwear. Who uses a phone shirtless unless you're a drug dealer at a circuit party? Anyway, David opens his big mouth and our jaw nearly hit the ground.

Beckham is a creation made entirely of images. He is all about constructed advertising photos, sports highlight reels, and secret tabloid snaps. He's not supposed to, you know, actually say anything or impart a message. You are supposed to look at the superstar, not hear him. So, photoshoot, yes. Talking commercial, no. We'd like to keep drooling over Becks, so you can stop ruining the fantasy.