Is Nick Capra Blowing the Whisle on a Major Hollywood Star?

May 12, 2009
BRIAN-O-BRIEN

On his blog, pornstar and escort Nick Capra has posted a story about a trick he turned that involves a dominatrix, a prominent male celeb, and "Onward Christian Soldier." Can we guess the guy?

In the story, Capra says that his escort agency had him report to a New York dungeon where a female master had him fuck her slave, who was in People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive issue in 2003 (supposedly the scene happened in 2004). When Capra entered the A-lister, he started belting out the well-known hymn. Can we decode who the star is with the clues Nick gives?

Thankfully The Sword did most of the research and heavy lifting for us. Based on their list of eligible candidates from the issue, here's what we think in order of least likely to most likely.

Collin Farrell: There is no way. This guy is as straight as they come and he would never pay for sex, no matter how kinky. Next.

Ashton Kutcher: Very unlikely. First of all, Capra describes the man as "muscular," which is one adjective that doesn't come to mind for this aging twink. Also, he says he has seen him in several Hollywood movies. Unless he was the one guy who saw "Butterfly Effect," we don't think it's him.

Hugh Jackman: We really wish it were him. First of all there are those pesky gay rumors that won't go away. Also, Hugh was in New York on Broadway roughly around this time, and we think he would need a woman to tell him to take a cock. However, if we're believing rumors, he's supposed to be into younger more boyish types than Capra. This is an even money bet.

Seann William Scott: This guy spells his name with an extra N which means he is a big ol' bottom. He also has some pesky rumors about his sexuality, but there is no way he knows the lyrics to "Onward Christian Soldiers." This queen would be belting out "Like a Prayer" instead, but a very good guess.

Jude Law: Here is where we place our money. First of all, he was in like every movie around that time period. Capra describes the john as "mostly straight" which we know Law certainly is. However, he seems like he would be into some seriously kinky shit and wants a woman to order him around. Also, a good Christian English boy would totally have a weird fixation with hymns. So, we're picking Jude Law.