We Only Need $1383.86 To Make Our Birthday Wish Come True

Today is our birthday. When blowing out the sad, lonely candle on our cupcake, we wished that we could fuck Marco Blaze. Well, we can make it happen, with a little help from you.

Tonight Marco is performing in Paris. We can fly there, meet him, have a night of totally intense passion after we meet and fall in love, and then fly back to New York and tell everyone about our new boyfriend who lives in London and can't relocate here because of visa issues, and how we're still remaining faithful—well, unless it's for work.

Here's where your money will go:

A plane ticket from New York to Paris and Back: $538
Two nights at the gay Hotel Central Marais in Paris: $242.08
A "South of the Border" waxing treatment at Face to Face Spa before we leave (Marco likes it smooth):$65
A pack of 36 condoms: $19.99
A bottle of Eros BodyGlide Lube: $18.79
A wad of cash to "convince" Marco to love us if our wit and charm doesn't work: $500

This is even better than sponsoring a small child in one of those impoverished villages, because they never get laid. So please, send your credit card numbers to us so we can finally, finally get some tail on our birthday. We're so confident you will come through that we're going home to pack.

· Marco Blaze (marcoblaze.com)