If This Is All It Takes to Give A Male Genitalia Exam, We Earned Our M.D. Years Ago

"We're now going to proceed with the examination of the male genitalia," says the Jake Cruise of doctors in this legit instructional vid. The hunky patient quickly had us feeling up our bits. First few steps, with layman's translation:

"We're first going to inspect the skin and the hair distribution."
Check how much he manscapes, if at all, and ensure it's tastefully done. (What a relief that noting ridiculous pubic cuts is firmly based in science!)

"We're looking at whether or not the man is circumcised or uncircumcised."
We're looking to see if we get the pleasure of nibbling on some foreskin.

"We're looking to see if the penis is erect or flaccid."
Naturally with us, the former is a given.

"We continue with the examination of the male genitalia by having the man assume a standing position and the examiner seated in front of the patient. May I ask you to just open your robe, please?"
No translation needed, doc! We'll take it from here.

We admit getting turned on by such a video is a tad like teenagers in the 60s sporting woodies to tribal articles in National Geographic. If we got to examine this beefcake ourselves, the nurse better pull out the defibrillator.

BONUS EXAM: You won't want to miss his meaty ass during his rectal exam. Sims' position, pretty please.

· male genitalia examination (youtube.com)