We Have a Pavlovian Response to Landon Conrad’s Dick

We watched Falcon's newest star's debut in "Morning Wood" last night, and his joint had a very immediate and tangible effect on us. It actually made us drool!

It is just so big and fat and it slopes upwards in just the right way. And it looks so hard, like if you hit it, a knocking sound would come out of it. We could just feel it stretching out our mouth and sliding around on our tongue, pressing our tonsils tenderly trying to get down our throat. And it doesn't hurt that it is attached to one seriously handsome man. That is not a word we use often, but it is the only one to describe his attractive, masculine face and his perfectly-toned, hairy-in-all-the-right-places body. Lucky Ludovic Canot got to nurse on the piece of our dreams and then got it up his ass—in the shower, on the floor, on the counter. We're so jealous. Conrad has a ways to go as a performer, but considering this was his first shoot he'll probably be less-nervous, more-vocal, and generally better through the rest of his career. We hope it's a long career, because he's going to be even hotter as a daddy. Sorry, we have to wipe the saliva off our chin now.

·Buy "Morning Wood" (falconstudios.com)