All Mixed Up (But Ever So Hot)

Xtuber PortlandScott listens to the music of a ragingly alternative 16-year-old, has the username of a granola-eating hipster, and looks like a muscle bear at a truck stop. Sure it's a little confusing, but none of these are bad things.

It takes just two simple words that make this oddly incongruous package work for us. That's right. Muscle Bear. Sure, we might have found ourselves thinking that the choice of Nine Inch Nails for jerk-off music was a little...incongruous, but then he peeled off that tank top and all non-pertinent thoughts went on the backburner. What's the only pertinent thought? What do we have to do to suckle on one of ‘dem titties?

Jacking my dick to nine inch nails.... (part 1 of 2)