Really We Just Like Hearing These Guys Go Jaaaa at Each Other

Every threesome we've participated in has been a flurry of misplaced elbows, misplaced attention and hurt feelings. These cute German twinks manage to pull it off without a hitch. They're just so much more efficient than Americans, you know.

Sure, this hardcore clip verges on the professional (from what we can tell it's the equivalent of the pilot episode to the family-oriented sitcom that's going to be user Phaetons's career in porno), but you've really got to hand it to these guys. Every position they switch into is perfectly and elegantly calculated to maximize participant pleasure and viewer interest. It's like watching the gears in the back of watch tick the seconds away in perfect harmony—only all the cogs are made out of penises (i.e. pretty much everything we've ever wanted).

German Engineering: Making everything else look like a recalled Toyota hurling you uncontrollably into a brick wall since 1945.

· Florian Hagen Threeway