A prequel to our favorite show "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" starts January 21, but we just heard that the show will produce a second season. To celebrate, here are the top five dick-slangin' action from the first season.
Last Friday, Starz honchos told the collective entertainment press at the Television Critics Association conference that "Spartacus," will definitely be making it's way back to television, though sadly without cancer-stricken actor Andy Whitfield in the lead role (psst, producers, if you haven't cast someone yet, we have some suggestions). It's been far too long since we last got a taste of all the naked, hunky action that made "Spartacus: Blood And Sand" one of our must-watch television shows last year. If you're having trouble remembering why a gritty and insanely violent piece of historical fiction like "Spartacus" got a pervy sexy blog like us so excited, or if you weren't around to enjoy the gratuitously nude action for yourself, check out the five sexiest clips from the first season!
5. Our beloved Spartacus is just roughhousing: A major plot point in "Spartacus" is the separation of our titular hero from his beloved wife in the first episode of season 1. Here, Spartacus' nemesis Crixus makes a snide little crack about how she's probably been "fucked to madness by 100 vermin cocks," which we guess is the ancient Roman equivalent of a "yo' mama joke." Clearly the only honorable course of action after enduring such a taunt is to tackle your antagonist, thrusting your taut, naked body into him as you roll around the floor in struggling for dominance.
4. Our beloved Spartacus has a little fun in the sauna: Be it in television, film or theater, any scene that takes place among a bunch of buff, mostly naked hunks hanging out in a steam room will probably be a fun scene to watch. The fact that this one starts out with the phrase "well lick my hole!" and ends with one of the beefiest asses in television history waving for the camera—well that's just one of many reasons why we can't wait for the return of "Spartacus."
3. Our beloved Spartacus shows us the goods: Famous, critically-acclaimed actresses losing their tops or going fully nude for a scene in a film or on premium cable is a tale as old as time. People hardly even think about it anymore. But we could probably count on our fingers and (maybe toes) the number of mainstream, high profile actors who've shown their cocks in a movie over the past decade. Thank goodness that neither the producers nor incomprehensibly sexy original Spartacus Andy Whitfield had a problem showing us their lead actor's dick. That's what we call balls. (No seriously, his balls are right there.)
2. Our beloved Spartacus has some surprisingly liberal views on homosexuality: Some of our favorite sub-plot fun came from the super-masculine gladiator Barca and his his twinky boyfriend/slave. Other TV shows set in ancient Rome have touched on the subject and accepted status of homosexuality during the time period, but few have gone so far as to show us the fun stuff in action!
1. Our beloved Spartacus has truly been blessed by the God, Priapus: We realize that all of the show's nudity is just a smaller component on "Spartacus: Blood and Sand's" commitment to bringing us an awesomely gritty, unflinching look at the world of the Roman gladiator. But sometimes, as in amazing but completely unnecessary scenes like this, we get the feeling that somebody at STARZ just loves showing cock (in this case, a beautiful example of some gigantic donkey cock) and really doesn't give a fuck. This, more than anything is why we miss our beloved Spartacus so and simply cannot wait for his return!
· TCA 2011: (Update) The scoop on SPARTACUS – Season 2 (Yes, it's happening) (assignmentx.com)