Does Kellan Prefer Cocksucking Or Clamdigging?

Kellan's solo on Corbin Fisher is like a commercial jingle—bouncy, bubbly, bright and slight. Like on all college sites, we wonder, is this kid straight or as gay as rainbow high heels? Let's check our comparative analysis.

We all know sites that feature college dudes try to pass every model as unabashedly preferring the lassies, yet somehow also love the sex with the laddies. They'll give some B.S. answer like, "I'm just a sexual person." Please, Mary. Let's find out for certain, with our totally scientific, completely stereotypical 10 Step checklist of gay vs. straight mannerisms. Kellan is our first subject.

1) He chose the name Kellan
GAY. The only queenier names are Skyler or Kyan.

2) He gives a little giggle after every—single—sentence.
GAY. It'll be the same giggle once she bottoms.

3) Has a terrible, flat haircut.
STRAIGHT. The 'do is one step above a bowl cut.

4) Unimaginative up-and-down handjob.
STRAIGHT. Hetero guys don't know quite what to do with a dick, so they give themselves the least varied hand job necessary to squirt their load.

5) Doesn't give his ass a deep clean.
STRAIGHT. Clearly he's not planning on showing the sparkly shininess of that hole to anyone.

6) Prefers a woman who is "well-manicured."
GAY. No straight man on the planet would describe chicks with beauty salon terms.

7) Untrimmed pubes.
STRAIGHT. Even a gay boy just out of college would know basic manscaping is de rigueur.

8) Dated one girl through high school and didn't have sex with her until Senior Year.
POSSIBLY STRAIGHT. Sure plenty of gay guys dated women at some point, but we'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

9) Later claims he didn't have sex with his first girlfriend, because she wanted it too much and he didn't. So he broke up with her and casually dated her female friend, only having sex with her out of obligation, since she wanted it.
Hahahahahahaha! GAY! What teenage boy refuses sex with his willing and wet girlfriend?!? And why is the story changing? Me thinks he's making the straight shit up.

10) Although mainly into females, he's had sex with at least three men.
Stop the presses! Not even bi. Totally gay. To paraphrase Boys in the Band—once, you're drunk; two, it's a phase maybe; three, you like it! We'll be seeing cute Kellan in some man-on-man action in no time... and he won't be toppin', folks.

· Kellan (corbinfisher.com)