Meet the Porno Love Child of Pauly D and The Situation

Breaking! Some genetic physicist out there has managed to extract sperm from Jersey Shore's Pauly D and Mike "The Situation" to create their hunky love child. Let's see who it is…

It's Mario Capelli from ParagonMen.com! His resemblance to his Baby Daddies is simply uncanny! The genetic physicist not only captured The Situation's DNA for washboard abs, but also Pauly D's gene for overly gelled hair sticking straight up like a Looney Tunes electrocution. Another genetic anomaly that could only come from TV's two favorite, self-proclaimed Guidos is a startling lack of body hair, including abnormally hairless pits.

Mario's dream is to have sex with someone blind, since it'd be sensuous without visual distraction. He's probably more nervous about the response to seeing a grown man who never grew pubes. Let's hope he learns to treat the ladies better than his two dads!

· Mario Capelli (paragonmen.com)