Enter the Carnival Funhouse of Sex

April 27, 2011
CEDRIC-DEWITTISON

Or maybe this is a camping trailer owned by the painted-faced funny men of Ringling Brothers. The decor in this scene from CircleJerkBoys.com could only give a stiffy to a Ringmaster. It's simply atrocious!

Did they steal that bright polka dot towel from the toy chest of a local preschool? Those walls are painted the color of what a weak-stomached co-ed left behind after an hour on the Tilt-a-Whirl. Grandma's blankie covers the futon in the background, filled out with a bookcase stuffed with everything from a bongs to football helmuts to a... is that an old school cruise ship life preserver? If only this room suffered the same fate as the Titanic.

We suppose one can't expect the standard Crate and Barrel decor when one of the performers has the name "Captain Smirk." We're unsure if he's the dude with the tattoo of an eagle bursting in flames or the tattoo of Holli Would from the ridiculous 1994 animated film "Cool World." The other dude is Austin Lane. They're both sexy in that rough and tumble Circle Jerk Boys way, and maybe we should be happy that they're secure enough in their manhood to have sex surrounded by a magic rainbow of tacky. Go at it, boys!