5 Hot Naked Straight Men Who Need to Wake Up Gay

Surely you read the insane recent story of Chris Birch, a beefy straight rugby player who suffered a stroke that turned him into a flaming hairdressing queen. Although we don't wish a stroke on anybody, it got us thinking...Who are some hot straight dudes who seriously need to wake up gay? Here's our selection.

The first hetero in our heads is the ever tiresome Cody Cummings. Sure he's hot and we somewhere like him but really not, but ultimately he needs to go gay or get out. Kiss a guy and like it. Suck dick and love it. Get fucked and beg for more. If life were a cartoon, we'd hit him over the head with a big rubber hammer and once the stars stop circling his skull, this dude would be gay as a giggling goose.

Cutie gay-for-pay power bottom Kurt Wild broke our heart when said sayonara to gay porn to concentrate on his wife and kids. Since he took a dick with wild abandon, squealing like a pig on a spit, many doubted the dude's breedership. Now we believe him. If he woke up gay, he'd return to gay porn immediately, become our celebrity boyfriend, and make hundreds of homos happy with his insatiable bottom.


On the celebrity front, Daniel Radcliffe needs to wake up and be a queen. He's so frickin' relentlessly adorable and gay friendly that he'd be better off just joining our team. Have you seen him singing and dancing on Broadway? He's too perfect to be wasted on the womenfolk!


Brad Pitt 's gotta rise one morn, kick Angelina outta bed, and invite in a hot dude to fuck till the dusk. What Hollywood needs is it's #1 male sex symbol to come out gay and shock the straight world into realizing that even their long term idols like to take it up the rear. Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Bradley Cooper ain't gonna do it. Why not a real Tinseltown untouchable?


Our Retro choice is legend Rex Chandler. Back when we discovered him in the early 90s, he would fuck men, but he would never give blowjobs or take it up the ass. Because of his all-American hunky jock looks, he was a major fan favorite at the time. In retrospect, he needed to kiss more, blow more, take the leap and get fucked at least once. The gay-for-payer could have been legendary, if only he were gay enough to actually enjoy gay sex. If he woke up queer, he'd be in the pantheon of legends with Ryan Idol and Jeff Styker, instead of collecting dust in the annex.