The Top 5 Steamiest Christmas Porn of 2011

Pornsites love getting cutsie during holidays with the costume-themed porn. This week, at least a dozen sites released scenes where performers stick on a Santa hat, screw, and call it a day. Since we're old school and like some hint of a narrative with our fucking, we scoured this week's Christmas-themed sex scenes and picked out the best. After all, we know you don't have time to watch all 15 or so. So leave your weekend jack-off selection to us.

After this, we're off to find some holiday humping. Season's Greetings from Gay Fleshbot, and we'll be back on Tuesday, stuffed and satisfied.

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The Slammer 2
A mug shot of Mitch Vaughn dressed as Santa. A midget dashing out of a pet store with a bag of stolen goods. That pretty much sums up the saucy nature of this scene over at Men.com. After Santa Mitch and minx-like AJ Monroe and Bryce Star dressed as elves get caught robbing a pet store, cop Christian Wilde tosses them in the slammer. Naturally, the bail is to suck Christian the Cop's cock.

Since strapping honcho Mitch Vaughn isn't the type of pornstar to just take orders, it's silly fun to watch him getting bossed around while wearing a Santa suit. Even hotter is the moment where he tears off the big fat red suit to reveal his impossibly ripped bod. Spritely AJ and Bryce look like elves, which makes for kinky fun in tights. Exceptionally hot is when Santa and his elves are forced to get on all fours and show their holes for Christian's cock to feast on. We could stuff Bryce's smooth, delicious ass for days.

Then, there's the four man daisy chain fuck. To be either Mitch or AJ and get rammed from behind while plowing in front is all we need for Christmas.

How the Twinks Stole Christmas
Cute title, no? Although it's incongruous that this video over at NextDoorTwinks.com starts off with a voiceover cooing, "'Twas the night before Christmas...." Wrong story, fellas! Anyway, Johnny Torque and Noah Brooks, for some random reason, walk into a living room dressed as Boy Scouts. It's a teenage fantasy, you see, which is a bit creepy. Creepier is that they're playing stepbrothers! They pillage the gifts from mom and dad under the Christmas tree and, lo and behold, they unwrap condoms and a crazy new contraption they've never seen. (Spoiler: It's a Fleshjack.)

Noah's playing the inexperienced one, too busy with choir practice to have sex, so Johnny demonstrates the joys of sticking one's dick into things, including mouths.

We're big fans of Fleshjacks in porn. Whenever a performer uses one, it's hot to see him get unavoidably hard. The scene also has the always hot theme of new sexual exploration. Noah's character has apparently never ejaculated, so he's given unaware lines of his dick "feeling funny, like it's going to explode." As Johnny takes full advantage of him, Noah says things like, "What are we gonna do? Are you sure this is OK?" Considering how much he groans while getting fucked, we're confident Noah finds it a-OK!

If only the director paid a little closer attention to detail. When the scene's tension is that mom and dad might walk in at any moment, it's a bit lame when the guys don't react when we hear people on set loudly opening doors and stomping around.

And they wipe up their cum with their sacred Boy Scout scarves! Sacrilege!

See a video preview here.

Merry XXXmas
Life's one big Christmas party for the guys over at AustinZane.com. As always, their scenes have the uncanny charm as if we're sitting in the room hanging with the bros, too, drinking brew and passing a joint. Then, you know, stuff happens. Sexy stuff.

After a gingerbread house contest, Austin, Zane, Brett and Blake have a helluva orgy on the couch. It's success lies in how spontaneous the whole thing feels, making up endless sexual contortions on the spot. Only two cameras are set up to capture the action, ixnaying that unspoken outsider wandering about filming, not participating. The editing makes it feel like one continuous shot without breaks for the boys to fluff themselves. They're rock hard because they're actually aroused by each other. The intense passion makes up for the scene being only blowjobs.

Dark-haired and scruffy Austin is a sexual ringleader, stretching himself all over that sofa to ensure his lithe body gets the maximum attention from all four guys. Austin and Zane's endless make-out sessions are the hottest lip-locking in gay porn today. Even though they're supposedly straight (there's even this video of Zane about town with some girl), these two boys kiss like they're hopelessly, passionately, eternally in love with each other. An entire video of just the two of them kissing would be heaven!

Christmas Orgy

"We need a little orgy,
Right this very minute.
Pornstars at the window
Boxes with dicks in it."

Okay, this scene over at NextDoorBuddies.com doesn't exactly have a narrative, but there's a cute intro where Johnny Torque, James Jamesson, Tyler Torro, Anthony Romero, James Huntsman, and Brody Wilder all say what their favorite Christmas gifts were. Then they present us with the old "My Dick in a Box" gag, which, although funny in the classic Justin Timberlake SNL skit, is extremely hot in reality. Then comes the orgy, kicked off by a merry-go-round of blowjobs. Followed by...well, we're sure you can guess.

The scene's pretty darn hot, but we've got a couple nitpics. Clocking in at 40 minutes, the scene could be easily edited down to 25 or 30. There's not enough variety to keep our interest the entire time. Also, we wish there were way to remove James Huntsman. He's sexy to look at, all right, but he's suffering from the mental disability called Cody Cummings Syndrome. He gets sucked off, but while the other dudes are getting hot and heavy with the fucking, he's dead weight standing off to the side jerking-off solo. If he's gonna join an orgy, fucking join it. No one likes a wall flower.

The scene ends with the ultimate gift: spooge on a box. No need to unwrap!

See a video preview here.

Elves at Play and The Spirit of XXX-mas

'Tis the season for yuletide orgies. Sites UKNakedMen.com and ButchDixon.com team up for a two parter in Santa/Elf sexual hijinks. In Part 1, over at UK Naked Men, the elves in Santa's Workshop are wrecking havoc. By "elves" we mean hairy grown men who've tossed on wacky hats and green shirts. By "Santa's Workshop" we mean a random rundown storage space somewhere in Britain.

Regardless, the "elf" sex is hot, as the boys contort themselves into a variety of acrobatics to get to each others' cocks and assholes before drenching each other in cum.

Part 2, over at Butch Dixon, has "Santa" storming into his "workshop" outraged that his "elves" are fucking instead of working. Take one guess as to their punishment. Bingo! More sex!

These scenes are great for you hair lovers. With all the smooth studs of the other scenes, it's nice to warm up with hirsute hotties. It is winter, after all, and nothing keeps us warm like real fur.