This Hottie’s Colgate Smile Should Be Around Our Cock

March 14, 2012
CEDRIC-DEWITTISON

Guys who can make knees weak and hearts melt with just a smile are detestable. And yes, that's because we're insanely jealous! While we have to work overtime with wit, charm and personality, all they have to do is turn the corners of their mouth up and the world is putty in their hands. Take Austin. We didn't even have to look at his killer body. He had us with those pearly whites alone.

Austin, oh, Austin. We hate how pretty he is! Austin, oh, Austin. We want to wake up to his smile every day! Whoever his dentist is deserves a quarter of the cash he made from this porn shoot. If he looks this way at the just ripening age of 19, he's got decades left of melting everyone he passes as if they're the Wicked Witch of the West. Austin, according to the scene description, claims he likes girls AND boys. Are we jealous of the girl who'll get him, or the boy who does because that boy won't be us?

All we know is that we're willing to help brush his teeth...with our dick. We'll provide nature's toothpaste.