Is This Naked British Army Brat Real Or CGI?

April 3, 2012
CEDRIC-DEWITTISON

Or is he a robot? When we first laid eyes on Nick the British military stud, we thought we were looking at a naked computer-generated character some horndog created on the popular video game "The Sims." He looks unreal! His features are beyond perfection. That flawless physique cannot possibly exist in reality. Oh, but it does, my friends.

The full body shot below looks like two mysteriously blurred out men are dressing and undressing one of Disneyland's famous Audio-Animatronic figures...for a ride about being shipped off to Iraq, then getting nude. Nope, Nick is a stud on the British site FirstAuditions.com, which features men getting stripped down, anally probed, and jacked off by mysterious, disembodied hands. Only when Nick gets down on all fours to spread his heavenly buttcheeks, and then sits propped up in a medical chair with legs spread and spooges, only then does the realization sink in that Nick is an actual human being who exists out in the world that we could theoretically see and have sex with. He could be our lover. He's not a robot. He's not something that we can only see on our computer screens...

Oh, wait.