How to Fuck In A Car

It's a problem. You can't go back to your place, and he has a roommate, or a boyfriend, or a wife. You're not one for back alleys or bathroom stalls. So where to go? If one of you has a car, that'll do just fine. But how can one contort oneself for a fuck session in such a tight space? Here's how.

Car sex is terrifically intimate, more so than a bed. There's the naughtiness of schtupping in a so-called "public" space. Since the quarters are cramped, you must constantly press right up against your sex partner with nary a place to run. If the windows are rolled up, get ready for the sweaty scent of raw animal sex to fog up the windows and thicken the air. Since a car is usually a last resort for two guys burning with desire for each other, the sex could most likely ignite the gas tank. Here's our handy-dandy guide to fucking in cars, with a little visual aide from Steven Dehler and Milan Christopher from Monroeland.com.

Find a Private Spot
You can't fuck right there in the McDonald's parking lot next to the bar, or on the residential street where you mercifully found a spot 10 blocks from the nightclub. People may see you! Or, maybe there are so few people walking around at 3am that you can! The important thing is to make sure you'll be undisturbed. If not, find a traffic-free parking lot, street, alley behind a shopping center, or any tucked away spot that 1) you know is safe from roving bad guys and 2) security guards or cops won't catch you.

Move to the Back Seat
It usually roomier and lacks that annoying division between seats. And is a makeshift bed to sprawl out on.

Keep a Lookout
Unless you're in a private garage, make sure no one wandering out will accidentally catch you. (Unless they're hot and you want them to join.)

Crack a Window Open
Unless you're worried your squeals of glee will be heard 'round the block, crack open a window to let in some fresh air. Car sex gets stuffy fairly quickly, what with all the heavy panting and no ventilation. Of course, keep the windows closed if you like it as breathlessly sweaty and sticky as possible.

Do the Seated Cowgirl
Since car seats are made for, you know, sitting, an ideal position is the seated cowgirl or the reverse seated cowgirl. Even if a dick ain't nestled snug up the ass, it's perfect for a lot of heavy grinding and deep kissing. Tenderly gyrate in this position, since a lot of hard pounding up and down will only result in the bottom banging his head on the roof.

Shift into Missionary
Since the back seat leaves room for only one person to lay down at a time, missionary is your best friend. As you flip-flop, get used to having your lover's sweaty body pressed tightly against yours. If you're the bottom, prop your legs atop the back seat ledge or the front seat. You can bask in prostate pleasure instead of straining your thigh and calf muscles.

Now you're all set to be like a teenager and fuck your next buddy in his backseat. When you grab his stick shift, you're guaranteed to send him into high gear.

· TRASHY TUESDAY – "CAR-MASUTRA" (monroe-land.com)