Brazil Wins Gold In “Homemade Jerkoff Videos”

August 13, 2012
BRADFORD-MATTHEWS

The time has come, folks. The Olympics are finally over. While two weeks may not seem like a long time, the Olympic year that brought us nude photos of Danell Leyva, Tom Daley's now-legal, barely-covered ass, and the discovery of Aussie 'mo Matthew Mitcham, felt like an eternity! And just when you thought there was enough ~~marijuana~~ scandal to last you the next four years, The Spice Girls proved to be the real breadwinners this year—shitting gold medals and racking 10's across the board.

As a parting gift to the most boner-iffic Olympics yet, our friends at QueerClick have dug up one last scandal that'll keep your right bicep healthy for a while. In a video that made it's rounds a few months before the Olympics began, Brazilian gold medalist Arthur Zanetti had the most brilliant idea—why not make a homoerotic jerkoff clip with your friends? Thank goodness we have something to look at after the Closing Ceremony—you'll have to visit a third-party site to download the video, but with it, you'll receive a full 35 minutes of heterosexual shenanigans that include impromptu jerkoff videos!

What kind of party is happening here? Why is the sound inaudible? We'll leave the "how" and "why" up to you—we're digging into the book to find out who jerkoff guy #1 is.

Also—we're calling a "redo" on this summer's Olympic coverage. Can someone tell us where the fuck this twink in white was hiding the whole time?!