These First Timers Are Going For Gold

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This self-proclaimed "Oreo couple" just uploaded their first dirty at-home video, and they mean business. Not just the funny business of rimming and fucking each other, but, like, actual business—as in charging for future videos with higher production values. An endorsement deal with Nabisco cannot be far behind, so grab a glass of milk and get your fill while they're still handing out the sweet stuff for free.

Three things we'll miss when these two erect a pay-wall with their dicks:

1. Maple syrup. Not the all-natural expensive kind that comes from trees, but the artificial sugary shit we too grew up loving. Maybe Auntie J will become a signature prop dressing for future videos, but more likely she just happened to make her way on screen because they were too lazy (and horny) to clear their l'eggo my Eggo breakfast before fucking on camera.

2. The NY Giants. Go Big Blue!

3. Egg-shell mattress padding. The same kind that got us through our beer soaked college years spent urgently fumbling for connection between Target sheets while precariously balancing on a prison-grade single mattress. Good times.

SexiiOreoCouple Flipflop Fuck (xtube)

Twitter: @Neil_O_Hare